in the making.

` it takes two hands to clap ;

sometimes i feel like i'm just a piece of crap.
being controlled,being toyed around then dumped off like a worthless chunk of rubbish.
sometimes i feel like i'm just so so bloody gullible
to trust and give my heart out but only to received pangs of heartbreaks in return.
sometimes i feel like i'm damn foolish
to decide to give fantasy another chance in hopes it'll turn into reality someday.
sometimes i feel like the world's utterly against me
negative stuffs piles mercilessly,non-stop.

BUT i gave some thoughts about it & came to realise..
that i'm fortunate to receive such takings because i grew stronger everytime i overcome these incurring obstacles.
& that my family,especially my sister,never fails to encourage me to keep going on.
& that my wonderful friends showered me with care, concern,love and everything i wished for.they touched me from within and i can never feel this bliss from anyone except them all.

i have goddesses with me to put on a smile on my face,
i have my lovely clique during times in poly and they were there for me when i brokedown uncontrollably several times,
just this evening i had quality time with jiaying who was studying with me in macs.
she's the one who could make me laugh like mad and the next moment,fill me with emotional setbacks while she knock some sense into me.
then again,i have mitch,russ & especially aloy, who always cheered me up during my most stressful and depressed periods. moments ago they came down all the way to tpy just to bring me out for supper to release some stress.

you see?
you see,patrina?
you have everyone by your side, backing you up and loving you like none other.
why are you giving up on yourself because of a minor blow?

its pure fate that at times,
what you yearn to be yours are never never NEVER gonna be.
so accept the fact that you have to take things in your stride.
dont keep running back to the things you're trying to run away from.

you cant live in denial anymore,
knock knock- this is a wake up call.

LIVE AFRESHED,GIRL.
everything's gonna be alright.
PROVIDED, you allow yourself to be happy.

ONE LAST CRY AND I'LL LEAVE IT BEHIND.
breakdown,breakaway,breakfree.


_
" i love u.. "
oh its been an eye-opener.
NO. save it.
its not gonna happen anymore.
i'll never let this to.