PATRINA.
20thseptember

 - We were meant to live for so much more.







♥ Wednesday, November 14, 2007

last night,i had the most absurd and wildest nightmare.

i dreamt that there was this enormous brick-built monster running at full speed towards me.
i started to run.and it chased me.
as i darted my way out of his sight,
i began to realise he's slowly,slowly removing every shade of colour from my surroundings.
i was running on a what-seemed never ending path,
with only black and white images that flashes across my view.

then i saw my family from a distance away.
they were meddling with their own stuffs without taking the slightest notice of me.
i tapped on my sister's shoulder and next thing i know,
the monster grabbed every single one of my family members and swallowed them.
i screamed at the top of my lungs but no sound came out.
downcatsed and demoralised,i continued running away from it.

my friends appeared next.
friends from primary & secondary school,poly and even outside friends..
i waved frantically in order to gain their attention but to my dismay,
they just simply stared blankly at me.
however i saw yiguhuo trying to grab me,
i saw ftp bandsmen shouting for me,
i saw jiaying clio mag tearing..
but they were all being retained by an invisible and invincible force.
i wailed with agony and fatigue.
i sensed a complete downfall.

miraculously,someone grabbed me from behind.
a pair of hands wrapped around my waist.
i turned and a face with such heartwrenching love came into view.
plus,scent of ice dive filled the air.
instantly i was brimmed with warmth and bravery.
the hands gripped me tightly and brought me forward,
we both sprinted with sheer determination to shake the monster off.

it unceasingly took everything away from me.
tabletennis; band; education; happiness;
when i'm really left with nothing,
the monster and i halted.
it lifted its palm and i dont know,
there was a sucking effect which devour the person with the loving pair of hands away from my side.

it was then i went berserk.
i couldnt accept the fact that even my only support and motivation which came to my rescue during the nick of time's now gone.
i cried and yelled in a super high-pitched voice.
the walls around me started to crumple and rattle..
my world was crashing down,undoubtedly.
helpless,bewildered,feeble,powerless,vulnerable.
i couldnt exactly describe how i felt because i was simply paralysed on the spot with pain.

then,there was a black-out.
END.


*
i remembered i woke up in a total shock.
was feeling torn-down and feverish.
i draw my knees close to my chest and sobbed silently to myself.
the dream was undeceivingly soooo near to reality.

and suddenly i recalled my last conversation on the line.
'what if one day i'm really gone?like,i perished and you can't contact me anymore?'
=/
at that split moment,my emotion-band snapped.
my heart shattered.
i felt so so so lost.
i sobbed harder into my bolster,covering every muffle made.

i guess this is the anwer that you're searching for.
and it'd been brought into my dream.
the pair of hands belongs to you..
you whom'd always given me mental support,
you whom'd brought me happiness due to your unconditional love,
you whom i adore so affectionately now.

stand by me- this i beg of.
i dont wanna lose everything i'd earned.
family,friends,passion,love.
patrina's worthless,just nothing at all,without you all.